Catholic Imagination

I imagine Him as being an athletic man, with strong facial features, hair color similar to mine and a powerful body. I imagine Him as physically representing all the wrath that He will bring upon me if  I do not obey the Bible. I imagine Jesus as a Mexican, as a Hispanic, as a Latino. Of course, all of this is predetermined by the social factors that I interact with every day and past experiences.

So then, what is the danger/merit of my imagination regarding Jesus?

Lost myself?

I have always known that the person you go into college is not the same one that will walk out at the end. Yet now as I near the end, I feel myself no where near where I once started. I feel like I lost part of myself by coming out to Georgetown. I wonder where I left behind my punk music and all the things that I used to love doing? I know that I am maturing and changing, but sometimes I wonder if this change is even good change?! Maybe all I want is just to be able to go to a show in Hollywood, go into that pit and not worry about anything else. The last time I even had a blast at a show as in Madrid when I saw Bad Religion. I feel like I have lost myself. The other day I finally bought a pair of Chucks.....I can't remember the last time I bought a pair of Chucks?! Or even wore Vans....I definitely traded my comfy old Vans for sometimes an uncomfy pair of flats or heels. Yes, i do enjoy wearing flats and heels, I just don't know how I got to the point where I no longer thought of punk music. Now I find myself thinking about the current music trends, which by the way aren't that great....yet I still love them. Maybe if I go back home to LA all will go back to the way it was. Or maybe some of it will at least. 

Lately I just haven't been feeling like myself. Its frustrating and making me upset.

Life after college

I think I'm not going to TFA, but instead get my MA in Curriculum and Urban Teaching. After reading Dr. Porterfield's binder filled with personal accounts of past TFA teachers it has really opened my eyes up. So I am applying for CSULA's MA for Fall of 2009. And I gotta take the GREs and the CBEST. So I gotta get cracking on those two exams!

More to come...

Little party, big SURPRISE!

Last night I spoke with my older brother. My nephew was born almost a month ago. My mother has been wanting to have a "Welcome home baby" party. Since I am going home for a few days in March my brother thought it would be a good idea to also do the party then. So he is in charge of somehow convincing my mother to wait until then to have the party. What a surprise my parents and younger siblings will get. Only my older siblings and my besties know that I will be going home for break. :) So my mother will think that she is having a small get together for the family, but in reality she' going to get an even bigger treat. I can't wait to go home. My brother said he is also going to get a few days off that weekend so that we can hang out and stuff. I really can't remember the last time I spent good, quality time with my older brother. This in reality translates to spending ridiculous amounts of time in West Hollywood or WestHo as I have claimed it. :) And I get to buy more records!!! Woot! And eat Cantor's! Babysit Benji! Eat mami's food! and more than likely gain a few pounds. 

:)

I'm going back to Cali, Cali....

Hectic

GALA was amazing on Friday! I have never danced to Latin music for so long as I did on Friday. I also learned how to dance to bachata and I lOVEEEE it!!!! Lots of good memories with some of my closest friends. 

The Step Show was amazing on Saturday night! I must say that I had an amazing time with the Lambda Pi Chis. I really felt like I fit in for a few hours. It was great to see how much effort and time all the frats and sororities put into their performances. I have a meeting Wednesday which should be fun because I also have Vagimon rehearsal that night. 

I just need to get through this Sunday and I'll be good with everything I am doing. I'm probably doing way too much at once, but I mean its my last year I gotta try to get everything in. 

I really don't have much to say right now. Other than I'm enjoying my senior year. I think now I understand what my mother meant by me not having a "serious" bf. Although sometimes I think about it and I'd like to have a serious boyfriend. But more so someone that I can truly see myself marrying one day and starting a family. Maybe its because some of my closest friends are engaged and soon to be wed. Maybe its because I'm growing up and my internal clock is telling me its time to somehow settle down.  OR maybe its just because I enjoy the company that goes with being a relationship, although if you are with the person you can connect with it is great company. I must say that I'm still a bit bummed out about how things ended with Mr. H. We definitely connected on so many levels. We had such a great time just hanging out with each other and swapping anecdotes and stories. I also cant really remember the last time I felt so happy and carefree like that. I honestly think he brought out the best in me, despite my flaws. And despite his flaws I still like him. I mean I'm not perfect and he isn't either. But this isnt something I should dwell on. 

I am very happy at where I am in life. IT is a wonderful thing to be a senior~ I love my girls, my family and professors. They truly make my experience something else. I thank God for blessing me and giving me the opportunity to receive an excellent education and more so for guiding me the right way. 

Academic Standards

Throughout my academic career at Georgetown I have often stopped to think about how my transcript looks. IT is such a mess. There is no real consistency in any of my grades, except for my writing courses and Spanish courses. I know that GPA is such a determining factor in many things after college, but I just don't care enough to be successful on having a high GPA. Many have told me that GPA is not the end of the world. Maybe I just feel like I have failed in college because I have not been so "successful" academically as I had been in high school. I just feel like being in college has taught me more than classes have. I mean I love to learn and sometimes I just wish I could just learn for the sake of learning vs. taking a course to fulfill a requirement or to get that 'A'. Maybe one day our system won't be so broken and students won't be measured on a scale that is inaccurately and doesn't measure personal growth or intellectual growth. By intellectual growth I mean real ideas, not just regurgitation of information and no mental stimulation whatsoever. Or maybe I'm just bitter that I suck at school and clearly cannot get the grades. Although I feel like I would excel in the real world as a person who can think for herself and analyze the world around her, not just a student who knows how to memorize information one day and then forget it the next. I'm not quite sure what direction I am taking with this blog but maybe I'll make sense of it some more after a bit more reflection. 

I think this is it for now. 

Highlights thus far

Some of my highlights of second semester senior year

1. Spending 30+ hours out in the cold with Ash to see Obama

2. Mr. Yogato's hot chocolate

3. Dancing on the stage at Thirds

4. Ice Skating at Sculpture Garden

5. Hugging the toilet after a night of good times with my friends.

6. Realizing that I am more confident than I ever thought I was.

7. Dinner at 1789 with my besties.

more to come soon!

An unusual Tuesday

1. Woke up at 6am to be at Sousa Middle School at 8am.

2. "Taught" for about 20 minutes.

3. Realized the importance of TFA even more in urban schools.

4. Stepped into the reality of metal detectors at a middle school.

5. Watched Orpheus Negro amazing Brazilian movie

6. Read half of about 3 books

7. In LAU at 12:45 am

40 minutes later...

On Super Bowl Sunday Ash and I went up to Sara's to eat some chili and watch the game. At about 6:30 Sara sent us on a wine run. This was Ash's second time going out for wine. We went to the first place she had purchased wine at and it was already closed. We then proceed to go to Trader Joe's to only discover that they didn't sell wine or alcohol. As we drove up Wisconsin Ave. we found a beer & wine place. We picked out two reds and two whites. Only to discover as we at the cash register that we couldn't purchase the bottles because Ash was using Sara's card. We left upset after a 5 minute mini argument with the clerk. Then we found another wine place a few blocks over on Woodmont and Cordell. Finally we were able to purchase wine. Only after finding out that the employee would not sell us alcohol because I did not have my ID. Apparently he thought that Ash was buying me the wine!!!! Luckily John (one of Sara's friends showed up), but it didnt make much of a difference because Ash was able to purchase the wine. So after a 4o minute ordeal we finally make it back to Sara's with the bottles of wine and get to eat Sara's yummy chili!

Moral of the story: I'm never going to go buy wine with Ash without taking my ID, because I apparently do not look 21. 

Drunken confessionals

The other night I went out with a few friends for drinks at the usual spot: Mr. Smiths. I had no intention whatsoever to get hammered that night, yet somehow I ended up hugging the toilet at the end of the night. You know that moment of "Ahhh crap! I shouldn't of had all those drinks." We ended the night at Tombs, where as usual you run into about half the senior class. That can often lead to deadly consequences because you have more people you know, therefore more potential drinking partners. I believe that now it has become more of a tradition to get kicked out of Tombs because they are closed. Hehe...I mean they wouldn't have that problem if they'd keep the bar open longer. :) Sadly, I know that this can never happen here in the US. I wound up drinking like crazy with an old friend I had run into at Tombs. Let's just say I chugged too many beers and drinks in less than 20 minutes. As we walked to campus drunk off our tooshes I began to realize how icy the sidewalks were. I stand by the fact that I walk more cautiously when I'm intoxicated than sober. She ended up crashing at my place because she couldn't walk over to her place. I then proceed to feel really sick and hug the toilet. Actually I think I felt sick for the realization of some things that shared and exchanged that night. I cannot say what it is, but let's just say that some things are never meant to be shared. As she sat next to me on the bathroom floor to make sure I'd live we continued our conversation. I confessed some things to her and as did she. The morning after I was like "OMG, we had drunken confessionals!" Now this where my idea comes from. I will be starting a blog in the next week or so called Drunken Confessionals. Where people can anonymously post stories that they are ashamed or embarrassed to tell anyone else. However, it must be something that happened while you were drunk or intoxicated. Sort of like Post-Secret but more risque.