M.I.A.

I have been MIA for these past couple of days since my return from Mexico. I feel as if I have hit another wall in my own development as a human being. I'm going back to school tomorrow because I can't take being at home with my mom. We have our ups and downs. I know I cannot keep running away from her, but being next to her is often grueling and very hurtful. Its funny, I know I should speak up and say how I feel but its hard. I know I have often done this: not said anything when I should have for fear of hurting what the other person might feel. This was often the problem in my only serious relationship that I have had in my life. Granted, I am still young but I've never really been one to be a serial dater either. Even now I know I need to correct my ways and speak up more, I really am trying. Its just hard when all your life you've always been told to suppress what is going to potentially hurt someone else or even not say anything for fear of the consequences. So much is going through my head right now its amazing. I have like ten million things going on at once its amazing that I don't explode at times. I just need to clear my head and I'm not sure what else I need to do. I just need to graduate and get my life together, maybe then a lot of things will begin to make sense. Or maybe I need to just finish and come home to knock some sense into my life of living out of a suitcase. I'm not quite sure what I need anymore...ugh this whole being at a crossroads thing is really starting to irritate me.