Part Deux: Journey to the Roots

As much as I'd like to spend more time in Mexico I don't think I could it as a native. I think this is where my conflict of am I "Mexican" comes from. I want to travel and see the whole country for myself. I'd like to see it from a literary point of view, or even an anthropological point of view. Maybe I'm not a "Mexican" maybe I'm a Latina. Today as I stood in the plaza (the public square) I pondered my identity as I took pictures of the church and plaza. Maybe I'm not Mexcian. Maybe I'm more of a Latina. I have been rejecting my identity as a Latina because I keep arguing that I am Mexican because both of my parents are Mexican. However my education and experiences proves otherwise. Perhaps me being a Latina is a good thing. I think it means that I embrace all of Latin America and everything that it encompasses. I often feel that through my educational experience both abroad and at Georgetown has shaped me to understand what all the peoples of Latin America experience both good and bad. The other night as I strolled through the plaza with my mom and extended family members we came across a stand that was selling these beautiful hand knit sweaters that are typical of the indigenous tribes of southern Mexico. Then I hear a female voice speak in an Indigenous language from the back of the stand. It was a lovely sensation to hear her voice travel through the air. Almost an exhilaration to hear her. I've only read about it and studied it in my classes, but now to get to hear first hand, it was a beautiful experience. I only wish I knew what Indigenous language she spoke, but I'm pretty sure that the woman also speaks Spanish. I saw her again today in the plaza as I was there eating ice cream with my cousins. I am really curious about her heritage. Only if I can get the courage to walk up to her and ask her about her indigenous roots. I really want to know more about her life. I'm sure its filled with all these lovely images as well with the ugly.

I don't know everything that is Mexico but I do have a good idea of what it means to live, breathe and experience Latin America. Maybe I'm not Mexican. Perhaps I am Mexican by descent and Latin American by choice. I am proud to be Mexican and be part of a beautiful culture. I know I fill in happily that little circle on forms that says "hispanic/Mexican/Latino" there's something in identifying myself as part of this culture that makes me happy. I know that I am different, yes I am a minority but I wouldn't have it any other way. Its taught me to appreciate life and everything in it. Its also taught me to count my blessings, love my family and friends and work hard to achieve all that may be. I may not be a legacy but I hope to one day to establish my own family and start my own legacy. The legacy that my progeny will be successful and attend the best universities and schools in the United States. Some may view legacies as a bad thing but I see it as a good thing. Legacy makes you rise to the expectations and to continue to work hard because those that came before you have worked hard and achieved so much. Being a legacy, therefore forces you to continue to work hard and to surpass the achievements of those that have come before you. Or it can also be argued that I am myself a first generation legacy but surpassing my parents and their life achievements. Maybe now its just up to me to make sure that my progeny continue the legacy tradition and keep on striving for the future. No longer is it survival in our harsh, cruel world, but it'll be "thrival" if that makes any sense. You don't survive as a legacy but you thrive for the best. If there is any thing I have learned from Mr. H these past few weeks it has been this, we must thrive, no longer is it a question of survival.

In conclusion, I am a Latina and Mexican. I am also a first generation legacy that has a thirst for thrival not to simply survive and get by. Or maybe I am just me that has been forced to associate herself with a particular ethnic group or nationality. Can this be the journey that maybe I had to embark on when I entered college? Or is this the beginning of a life journey that I just realized that I've been on?